Today I learned that no matter how much you can tell yourself that things are over it doesn't necessarily make them so. On my way back home from the office I turned on my iPhone and didn't scroll down for my regular songs as I usually do but I listened to an old Iranian Song by Hayedeh.

I actually listened to it atleast 15 times today and sang along every word every time. What I realised was that I still have so much to give and so little people to give it to.

What does this mean? (except me having a sore throat now)

It means that once again I have been too involved with myself and have lost touch with what is most important in life: Affection!
Affection not merely for a lover but for everything. For life, work, study, progress, friends, family. And not to forget I have also lost the ability to be truly proud and happy about myself.

Maybe it's time for a change! Time will Tell!

"All I saw was their smile...and I was enflamed with rage!" he tells me. "Pure toxic rage!"
"Did you know them?" I ask

He sighs as he always does when he tells me these things and finally when I no longer expect him to respond, he says: "No I didn't know them!"

There is this girl I have never met or have even spoken to. Her name is Z..... and she has a website which I will never ever tell anyone about. She has been the source of my inspiration. She has stopped updating this fountain of knowledge and experience.
All I can think of is: "Will I ever find something as good as she has given me these years?"

He sees them in the corner of his eyes.
He has his arms around her and she rests her head upon his shoulder.
He looks forward, takes a sip from his drink and forgets about those two.

Later that night, he wishes he could forget more things just like that!

There was a time once that whenever he cried I told him not to.
Today I told him that it was ok to cry and he said he couldn't!

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.
2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.
3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.
6. The soothing sound of a gentle water fall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding under water.

There!! See? It really does work! You're smiling already!!

There is this lack of interest in all our conversations.
We no longer meet...we just speak through the phone.
Most of the time all I say is "uhmmm", "yeah" and "well"

Sometimes I get angry with the fact that after all this time, I still miss her.

And then there is this welcoming smile on her face as she walks by me...I don't know her nor have I any desire to do so.
And yet this smile is comforting in a way that I have missed for over a year now.

A
- Available: Always
- Age: 23
- Annoyance: people who annoy me

B
- Birthday: 05/15/1986
- Best Friend: .......
- Blind or Deaf: Deaf
- Best weather: Sunny, warm wind, 25 degrees
- Been in Love: yes, and will be
- Believe in Magic: No
- Believe in Santa: No