I stood waiting at the sidewalk for her to appear.

There she was, across the road, in a strapless dress. The kind of dress it looked like a bartender had poured her into, and somebody forgot to say 'when'. But unlike always the 'glass' didn't want to let go of the overflowing part at the top.

As she comes towards me the tension hightens and hightens. I have forgotten where to put my hands, how to move my lips in order to say something, how to do anything...but to smile rose cheeked. She delivers the killer blow when she reaches me and drowns me in her embrace.

Then she says: 'Hi!'

The very first time a girl has me before saying 'Hi!'

"I used to live in a small cottage built in the woods behind a farm as a guest house. One night I was sitting in front of a roaring fire, reading a leather-bound book in my big wing-back armchair, it was pouring rain, my radio was set to the one station that came in (classical), I had a tea-pot staying hot on the wood-stove, a bottle next to me and the cottage was lit-up with the light of a few dozen candles and oil-lamps (I had no electricity). Oh, and I was reading Poe.

I didn't plan it, I didn't think about it, it just sorta happened. But I will never forget realizing exactly how awesome it was."


Best things in life are unplanned!!

"Thank you, I mean it!"  I said
"Haha, you're welcome...but eeh" he pauses "....who's gonna pay me?"
"huh? what do you mean?" I asked surprised
he laughs "haha you know....my phone bills!! hahaha"

I finally understand him "hahaha don't worry...I'll pay them!!"

It's already the uncountable time that I have opened this screen and started to type something just to forget what I was going to write about.... And it's not that I have really forgotten, but there are so many things that needs to be written what makes it impossible to start writing and to prioritise.

I guess I should just write nothing untill I have figured that out!

Life is a deck of cards
endlessley tall
and every card
represents a moment
an action
a decision
an experience
that you have had

Sometimes I wish that this deck could be manipulated. Rearranged. Edited.

I wish for the ability to remove a single random card from this deck at will!
For I will use this power to unhurt everyone that I have hurt. And to reuse that chance to make people happy whom I failed the first time.

"Everytime I looked you were talking and talking..." she says
"What else should I have done then?" he asks
"I'm not criticising..." she defends herself with a laugh "...it's just that it made me think how you are just like him!"

So we did it! Together!

He always carried lots of things on his person.
Even though that contradicted with what he always claimed: "I like to travel light!"
I never understood his motives and I knew it was a burden for him as well.
But in his mind, he told me once, being prepared to meet everybody's needs at any given time, was just part of being a gentleman.
I remember he carried a pack of cigarettes, although he had quit smoking for a few years.

"Are you smoking again?" I asked
"No, of course not"
"Why do you carry a pack then? you lair" I joked
"Simple" he said "In case someone asks me for one" he explained "Then I don't have to disappoint them!"

I was baffled by his answer and his way of thinking.
I remember mocking him whenever I talked about it to others. We had a great laugh about how ridiculous it was.
Then one day at the movies I spilled my drink. He simply reached into his pocket and gave me a few tissues.
I don't remember ever mocking him again after that.

I remember him always being helpful and forthcoming. In fact I don't remember him ever refusing anyone anything.

Maybe, no I'm quite sure, all of this combined was his real weakness!

There is this moment in which you occupy the same space with your past self.
That moment is one that keeps repeating itself.
She says that this happens everyday.

And I believe she's right.

"There are things I can't tell you"
"Why not?"
"That is also something I cannot tell you"